10 ways to help your grandchildren have fun and grow
Key points
Grandchildren love doing things with people who pay attention to them.
The best things to do are usually simple, cheap and easy.
Grandchildren love it when you involve them, teach them, give them a go, and compliment them.
Help them get comfortable with laughing at themselves.
Don’t do their thinking for them. Provoke their thinking instead.
Do it now. They won’t be around you forever.
My wife taught her to bake early on - mess was not a problem!
How to build wonderful memories with your grandies
Here are 10 things I love to do with the Mooster (her nickname). OK, I admit that some are pure Rob! But others can be done by anyone:
Go wild - Drive to a nature area where you're allowed to make a fire or start up a primus and cook sausages. Let her put whatever sauce she wants on her sausage and bread. Salad? Nah!
Get in the water - Go boogie boarding at Papamoa beach. "Grandad," (yes?) "let's go boogie boarding. I'm going to beat the pants off you!" Being the wuss I am in cold water, I need to use my wetsuit. Other than that, let's go!
Teach new knowledge - Soak in the spa pool, do the underwater things she loves like swirling round in a circle. This is also a great opportunity to teach chemistry - she checks the chemical levels using the checking kit and makes adjustments as needed.
Be (slightly) naughty together - I drop her off to school every Thursday morning after a sleepover. She loves arriving at her conservative (and very awesome) christian school with the car windows down, and grunty music blaring out of the stereo. She enjoys the strange and concerned looks we get from other parents. Favourite track for this occasion: Automatica.
She wanted to make Grandad’s coffee. It was pretty good too!
Involve, teach, and compliment your grandchild
5. Get down on your knees (I know, I know!) - Kneel down on the grass after school finishes on Thursday and wait for my huge running flying bear hug. I notice that most other granddads stand slightly uncomfortably with their hands in their pockets. Bro, get down on your knee! (If you can't get back up, your grandchild will help you!!)
6. Books, books, books! - We love sitting on her bed, she hugging a hot water bottle and her favourite sloth, me hugging her, and reading to her using various character voices. I'm especially good at The Three Little Pigs. Just saying…
7. Create stuff - I love teaching her how to use tools properly in the garage as she conceives of, and then makes, a special invention like a vegetable washing station or a block and string robot. Any idea goes and I take the support roles of materials provider, instructor, and health & safety office.
8. Challenging her thinking. I think it's very important, nay imperative, to teach her not what to think, but to know how to think. One tool I've taught her is Three Reasons Why. Here’s how it plays out: "Grandad, Troy was so mean today at school. He hit me on the arm." (Oh? Why do you think that was?) "Well, he's just mean." (OK, that's one possible reason. Why else might he have done that?) And so on...
It's very important, nay imperative, to teach (them) not what to think, but to know how to think.
9. Help them be real - Helping her recognise and become okay with her emotions, especially when she's frustrated or hurt. This usually entails staying calm, saying, "Sweetheart, you seem to be to frustrated. Have I got that right?" and, "Why is that darling?" And usually followed by, "Well, it's totally fine to feel like that. Let me give you a quiet hug til the feeling calms down a bit."
10. Provide opportunities - Letting her 'drive the car' from the start of the driveway to the end about 20 metres away. She sits in my lap, does the steering wheel, then selects park, brake and turns off the engine. I do the pedals and, although it's a straight line, any crash avoidance tactics that may be required. I never criticise her (I encourage her to figure it out, including mistakes), and always stay calm. I usually tell her, "You know, I love the way you're being careful here. You're going to be a very good driver when you're older."
Simple picnic in the park. Wonderful.
To sum up
All these things I’ve mentioned are conscious attempts to create memories; "I remember when Grandad and I used to...."
Think back to the positive things in your life (Christmases, holidays, special times with your grandparent/parent/Uncle etc), and you'll realise they were quite often the ones that were the most simple, cheap and fun.
May I encourage you to go do more of the same with your grandkids.
They’re not going to be around you forever.
What are your best ideas of what grandchildren love to do with you?
Leave a comment here for others to get inspired. (Me too!)
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