The better question that gets you better results

Main post image of Einstein: Andrew George on Unsplash

Key points

  • Many people are focused on activity in life and work.

  • The best kind of activity will help us achieve better outcomes.

  • Knowledge is good, but not enough.

  • Learning to accurately understand why things happen is vital.

  • Using the ‘5 whys’ technique to get closer to the truth.

  • Three examples: improving your workplace, navigating divorce, and helping clubs.

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Here’s the same article but read by Rob.

 
Man thinking clearly

How to improve your contribution to others, work, and life in general

We spend a lot of our time and energy doing things. Whether it's in our relationships with others (the way we interact with them, for example), in our work (how effective our solutions are), or in life (the degree to which we improve the world around us in some way), we do, do, do all the time. More to the point, others will know what we're really like not so much by how we think or what we say (although that's definitely part of it) but mostly by what we do.

However, how effective are we? You see, having knowledge is one thing. Having true understanding is quite another. And I believe that the quality of our contributions depends a lot on how well we understand what's really going on and why. Certainly, the quality of the outcome does.

Others will know what we're really like not so much by how we think or what we say…but mostly by what we do.

Understanding tends to bring insight

Knowing what’s going on is a good first step in most situations. But understanding why it's happening (i.e. contributing factors, or reasons) is an important second step. Especially if you care about seeing the best outcomes.

I've found that cultivating a better understanding allows me to:

- have compassion

- cut someone some slack

- take a better course of action

- make better strategies

- learn where to put my time and effort

- offer more useful advice.

 
 

Examples

1. Trying to improve things at work

Improve healthcare

Let's say you work in the health industry. Currently, you see little cohesion and little action and you want to bring about change in the way healthcare is provided.

Knowing that the healthcare system you want to improve shows little cohesion is good, but it's not enough. You need to then ask ‘Why?’

  • Why does the current approach show little cohesion?

  • Why is there little action?

If the reason is because of an overload of priorities, then the best course of action isn’t going to be shouting louder. However, if the reason is a lack of resources then promoting the cause more publicly isn’t going to help.

So, knowing why (i.e. truly understanding) gives you a perspective that is more fruitful in resolving situations.

(I know things aren’t this simple, but the overall principle still holds.)

Knowing why gives you perspective that is more fruitful in resolving situations.

2. Let’s say you’re going through a divorce

When going through a painful separation after a long marriage, let’s say you have a desire to be kind and compassionate towards your ex-partner. Of course, it can be challenging when they speak negatively about you to the children or involve a lawyer who treats you unfairly. And when you need to meet to agree on something, they might yell at you and call you names. While reacting in a similar negative manner isn't a good idea, it's important to understand why they act this way.

In essence, this is cultivating empathy.

Recognizing that they may be feeling hurt, abandoned, or embarrassed can help you develop compassion. Instead of reacting out of self-preservation, responding with compassion is a better approach. Understanding the reasons behind their actions enables you to handle the situation better and maintain your composure despite their behavior.

Remember, we're suggesting here that knowing that something is happening is one thing. Knowing why is much more useful and enables you to respond in a manner that's best. It gives you more insight and better personal control.

How to develop better understanding

One way of developing a better understanding is to pause and research and become better informed. This might be by reading books or websites on the situation, especially from a wider perspective than usual. Or talking with trusted experts or mentors asking them to help you understand a situation better.

A second way to develop understanding is to ask at least 5 "whys". For instance, if you're discussing the lack of funds for your club's activities, you might ask:

Why can't we afford to have the Christmas event this year?

- Because we don't have enough money.

Why don't we have enough money?

- Because our funds have been low this year.

Why is that?

- Well, it's because our membership numbers are dropping each year.

Why is that happening?

- Perhaps potential new members are unaware of our club.

Why is that?

- Because we haven't done much advertising or marketing to promote who we are.

Now, you could do this ad nauseum and probably end up in a fistfight if you're not careful! But you get the general idea. Diving deeper usually reveals the true problem which means you can spend your time and effort where it's likely to do the most good and end up with the best outcome.

Not because you know what's going on but because you also understand why.

Man sitting reflecting on life

Recap

So, in all three examples:

  1. Trying to get healthcare improved in your community

  2. Trying to navigate your divorce with integrity and honour

  3. Trying to turn a club's fortunes around

If you can cultivate clearer and more accurate knowledge about WHAT’S happening and improve your understanding of WHY it's happening, then you can:

See more accurately
Think more clearly
Act more wisely.

Isn’t that something that matters in today’s world!

 

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Rob Bialostocki

Hi there, I’m Rob and I love thinking, writing and speaking about living a life that matters, and becoming a better person in your second half of life. I’ve worked as a professional radio announcer, event producer, and for over 25 years a learning and development specialist in the corporate and professional services worlds. I have tertiary qualifications in science, teaching and psychology. I like to walk the talk so you get real, honest ideas and insights for your own life. Get in touch anytime.

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